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Surrender of the spineless
• 31 May 2007 •
 IN Portugal, around 30,000 couples were divorced last year. That’s about 30 in every 100 marriages. In the UK, it’s nearer 50, a figure that some clergy attribute to our Protestant background.
In Portugal and other Catholic countries, it is suggested that before seeking a divorce, distraught women should pray to Saint Rita of Cascais. It was her feast day last week and since she stuck out two disastrous marriages, her ability to intercede with God is thought to offer a solution.
Firstly, it is claimed that Saint Rita, with help from the Almighty, might be able to improve the husband’s dire behaviour. Alternatively, if this is unsuccessful, she could give the wife sufficient inner strength to put up with her spouse.
Judge for yourself whether Rita is a marriage guidance counsellor with supernatural powers.
Born around 600 years ago, as a child she spent her time fervently engaged in prayer. She longed to be an adult so she could join a convent and become a bride of Christ.
Her parents, in their wisdom, thought that marriage to a wealthy man would be a better option than living as a nun. Obedient to their wishes, she was betrothed to a well-heeled merchant, but as time progressed, he turned out to be a brutal and unfaithful husband.
For 18 years she sweetly tolerated his behaviour and gave birth to two sons. She dutifully attended to her matrimonial chores until fate intervened. Her husband was so obnoxious that in a scenario worthy of a soap opera, his neighbour murdered him.
This might have given some wives cause for celebration but Rita was faced with a different problem.
It was the custom at that time for sons to avenge a father’s death. Rita, being a pacifist, prayed this would not happen. When both sons suddenly died of natural causes, Rita was overcome with joy recognising that God had intervened on her behalf, before her neighbour’s blood was spilled.
(Now don’t be cynical – she wasn’t having an affair with the neighbour – she was after all the perfect wife!)
With regards to her sons, although her emotions might seem improbable, according to the Universal Book of Saints, she preferred to see them dead than taking a murderer’s life.
What’s more, at this point there was an added benefit, as now she could marry again. This time, to fulfil her childhood dream, she joined an Augustinian convent and became a bride of Christ.
Second marriages are often rewarded with much happiness, but in the case of Rita her piety was so remarkable that one day, whilst praying by a crucifix, Christ buried a thorn in her scalp. This can hardly be regarded as the action of a loving husband, especially as the wound would not heal and remained until the day she died.
Her first spouse had knocked her about a bit and philandered around with floozies, but in reality he was a pussycat compared to being married to Christ.
Despite this gross mistreatment, Rita did not complain , and when she made a pilgrimage to Rome, the Pope immediately gave her status as a virtuous married woman.
Exceptionally, she was beatified and given the title Saint while she was still alive. The question is: ‘Did it suit the Church to suggest that spineless women make the best of wives?’
Two weeks ago, in Boadicea’s column, she made an observation: “In order to live in matrimonial peace, more women these days are becoming “surrendered wives.”
In other words, when the husband commands: “Jump!” the wife replies: ‘How high?’
In the case of Rita, she might have seemed a model wife, but she lived a lie. Isn’t it better to be divorced than eternally compromised? |  Return to Top
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