Death row gut-buster

Texas, US – THE choice of a last meal to a convicted prisoner on death row has always been a tradition in Texas.

Now it has been revoked by the Huntsville prison authorities after Lawrence Russell Brewer aged 49, a white supremacist who was convicted of killing a black man.

The Governor told me the prisoner’s request was ‘outrageous‘, so what had Brewer done to ignite the ire of the prison governor? His request was for two chicken fried steaks, a triple meat bacon cheeseburger, fried okra, a pound of barbeque meat, three fajitas, a meat lovers pizza, a pint of ice cream and finally a slab o peanut butter fudge with crushed nuts.

‘The last meal tradition has been discontinued by the State’ said the stony faced governor. Was he trying to commit suicide by overeating I asked, ‘we short-circuited whatever he was trying to do, he was executed as planned’  would Brewers request have given Oliver Twist food for thought.

Beijing, China – For many centuries Chinese women have tried to make themselves more westernised by applying creams and potions to make their skin lighter, now the trend has reversed as Chinese women rush of to the tanning salons.

Xu Lin is a 22 year old white colour worker and rushes off to the tanning salon during her lunch break. ’I earn good money and can afford the 65 Yuan (around  €5). It makes me feel good with a nice glow, even my boyfriend goes and I think it gives us more confidence’

Tao Ran owns the Mega Sun tanning salon in Beijing, “our business is growing quickly, the once shy demure Chinese girls now want the Californian sun kissed look, they look at the magazines and try to copy western women.

Since we opened in 1999 our membership has increased to 5,000 members. Eight to 10 minutes on a sun bed cost 47 to 60 Yuan”.

Professor Shen Yang said “not only tanning has become big business, many Chinese women are having surgery to change the shape of their eyes to look like the Ladies of the west.”

Madrid, Spain – “DO you Maria del Rosario Cayetana Alfonsa Victoria Eugenia Francisca Fitz-James Stuart y de Silva, the 18th Duchess of Alba, take this man Alfonso Diaz to be your lawfully wedded Husband”.

Alfonso Diaz do you… Yes Yes Yes oh! Yes  Pleeeease. Married this week the richest women in Spain with more titles than the Queen. At a frail 85 years old 20 years older than Alfonso. I hope by the time the name is read out, she has not expired.

London, England – Ernest Shackleton’s 1907 expedition to the Antarctic may have fared better if he had done like his mother had told him as a young boy, “you must eat up all you food, and you will grow into a big strong man”

An uneaten biscuit found fully intact at Cape Royds has been sold at auction in London for £1250, however it was no ordinary biscuit, as one of my favourites it is a Huntley and Palmers. Now that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

Berlin, Germany – Facebook has had many favourites but for 330,000 admirers of Heidi the admiration must now come to an end, poor Heidi has been unwell for a time and has gone off to another zoo in the sky.

You see Heidi is an opossum, not any ordinary opossum, but a cross-eyed one.

Jorg Junhold of the Leipzig zoo said “she has closed her eyes or ever, being inflicted with severe arthritis and we took the decision to spare the marsupial any Further pain”.

 Heidi became famous when she appeared on U.S television predicting the winners at the Oscars.