Bogus surgeon arrested in ‘toxic tush’ operations

MIAMI, US – Oneal Ron Morris’s thriving beauty business hit rock bottom after the transgender woman was arrested for injecting a female patient’s bottom with a compound of cement to enhance her backside.

The victim who has not being named, paid Morris $700 for a series of injections that allegedly contained a near lethal concoction of cement, mineral oil and superglue to enhance her buttocks so that she could get a job in a night club.

A Miami Gardens police Sgt. said,”we have had many more of Morris’s so called patients come forward, and will help us get to the bottom of this case we call the “toxic tush”

SILCHAR, INDIA – Hazi Abdul Noor has got married again, this time he could be accused of cradle snatching as his new wife Samoi Bibi is aged 60.

Hazi claims to be 120, “the voting list has me aged 116, but they got it wrong, to many old people work in the voting office” Hazi said.

The sleepy village pushed the boat out, with more than 500 guest from neighbouring areas, villagers danced in celebration.

Hazi presides over a family that numbers 122 with two sons and four daughters and a multitude of grandchildren, his eldest son Hazi Azir Uddin, said: “Our father looks really happy with his new bride… I don’t think he will start another family, the only thing that is working properly is his memory”.

MILAN, ITALY – Hollywood actor George Clooney is preparing for a new role; he will give evidence in court at the trial of former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi on charges of underage prostitution, due to start in the new year.

Clooney and his former girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis have been listed along with over 200 witnesses for the defence and prosecution.

If a film is made of the life of Berlusconi who could play him? No not gorgeous George, how about Danny De Vito or even Russell Grant?

TORONTO, CANADA – Eminent astrophysicist Stephen Hawking said “We must find somewhere else to live” at a conference.

“It is essential that we colonize outer space for the survival of humankind within the next 100 years to avoid disaster.” Does this mean no politicians, banks, religious leaders and parking wardens on the new planet?

BANGKOK, THAILAND – How did Paul Barton celebrate his 50th birthday? by playing classical music to several blind elephants.

Paul and his wife moved to Thailand 16 years ago to care for a herd of blind elephants, “I thought this is a way in could enjoy my birthday, even with my bad back we dragged the piano up a mountain and I played Beethoven’s wonderful second movement Pathetique Sonata… I know the elephants really liked it, they swayed to the music.”

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