Mid-term report from Brussels

Dear Euro-School (Spain),

We, at Euro-Schools Head Office (Brussels), write to inform you we are becoming increasingly concerned about your School’s recent budget cuts.

We are encouraged your students appear, in the circumstances, to be doing their best to help themselves.

Though most unfortunate that this entrepreneurial, self-starter quest resulted in one decision to grow, er, cannabis.

Particularly when this was picked up by the international press and subsequently declared illegal.

Why not instead follow the example of Euro-School (Greece)? There the bartering of goods is proving quite successful.

With Euro-School (France), for instance, you could barter Manchego cheese with Roquefort; and Serrano ham with, er, frogs’ legs.

And with Euro-School (Italy) sombreros with, um, Prada bags.

Regarding Euro-School (France), it is highly regrettable its management, currently up for re-election, chose to threaten its students with claims it might end up like Euro-School (Spain).

As an elite group of Schools, we uphold the highest standards of behaviour and fully condemn such desperate political point scoring.

And then there’s the nationalisation of one of your assets by South-America School (Argentina) and your angry counter-claims.

So we have S-A School (Argentina) spewing forth its reasoning that it owns YPF/Repsol.

Then Euro-School (Spain) sticking its oar in.

It’s like watching two nasty sons arguing over Dad’s inheritance, oblivious that Daddy over there in that coma can hear everything! Whilst this all sounds very unseemly as reported in the red-tops, we nonetheless support you.

Our rationale, which we will be putting to S-A School (Argentina) with the strongest possible representations, will be: YPF/Repsol wasn’t stolen from Argentina.

Argentina sold the rights to it. Now they’re taking it back.

A bit like, I discover an old car in a barn on my land – I can’t afford to do anything with it, so I sell it to you. You work on the car so it can be driven.

Then I decide to take it away from you, because it’s on my land and now has value. Your expense, time and investment in the project comes to nothing and I benefit, not you.

Hmm. Finally, please be advised that, should you wish to withdraw Euro-School (Spain) from the Group, we’ll fully understand (but won’t do anything to help).

Yours sincerely, Euro-Schools Head Office (Brussels)

Nora Johnson’s novels, Soul Stealer & The De Clerambault Code (www.nora-johnson.com) available from Amazon in paperback/ eBook (€0.89; £0.77) and iBookstore. Profits to Cudeca