Does the nanny state really know best for our children?

The UK is in recession. Its largest trading partners are facing the potential break-up of their currency which would have huge knock-on effects on UK banks.

And its soldiers are dying in a war in Afghanistan which seems to have no end.

Yet PM David Cameron thinks the UK needs ‘parenting classes’.

His justification?

Lessons are offered in driving but none in parenting.

Why are today’s parents so less confident than those of their parents’ generation?

I’m sure my parents would have just laughed if offered these classes, assuming them to be a slightly bizarre prank, whilst my grandparents would have thought the questioner had fled the local asylum.

What is it with young parents today?

Why this collective lack of confidence? Don’t pre-natal classes and mumsnet cover all this?

Moreover no one can teach somebody else about being a parent.

Good, responsible parents learn it by instinct as well as assistance from their extended families. I suppose, though, we can be thankful for the small mercy it’s not cash that’s being offered, but vouchers.

Remember Labour’s cash allowance for young mothers to buy fruit and vegetables?

Yeah, I’m sure that’s *exactly* what they spent it on … Now, it’s either laughable or extremely sad when any government says there’s no money left in the economy.

Yet when an idea pops into the head of someone within government, that becomes a vanity project with a pot of gold at hand to spend on it.

And doubtless a glittering promotion at the end too.

But hang on! Wouldn’t it be far more useful to offer classes teaching your toddler how to become a politician when he grows up?

You could always start by teaching him to rob the sweetie jar, be “economic” with the truth and do U-turns in the schoolyard. Ensure, too, you have the right toys.

Whatever their age, they’re never too young for a rubber dagger to practise stabbing others in the back.

Additionally, they need both blinkers and rose-tinted specs for their vision.

Large boots for tramping on the public would also be a good start, as would gloves for climbing that greasy pole.

But don’t forget yourself!

You should treat yourself to a large price tag for when your child sells you down the river.

Nora Johnson’s novels, Soul Stealer & The De Clerambault Code ( available from Amazon in paperback/ eBook (€0.89; £0.77) and iBookstore. Profits to Cudeca

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