Aliens have landed in La Zenia

YIPPEE! We are now eligible to vote in the UK parliamentary and European elections.
Last week we received notification from St Edmundsbury and Forest Heath Councils, that our application for postal voting had been ‘allowed.’
Considering that the letter was dated May 20; that our application had been sent in late March, giving adequate time to be processed and sent back, I am finding it difficult to comprehend why the hell they bothered at all. The UK General Election – our primary reason for applying – was held on May 7.
The last paragraph urged us not to hesitate in contacting them, should we require further information or assistance. I am thinking that perhaps I should write now to book a place on the council telescope in order to view Halley’s Comet, after all it is due quite soon in 2061.
The letter was signed by a lady who apparently is an electoral services assistant (her spelling of this title involved upper case letters at the beginning of each word, but I cannot justify this).
It would seem that the assistant in this case should be given assistants of her own to deal with future applications. It is clearly an onerous task.
But let’s face it, all bureaucracies employ their fair share of turnips. People who are taught to keep their eyes straight ahead, looking neither to left or right, and without the wit or common sense to use that thing called discretion. In short the epitome of jobsworths.
And boy, have we got our quota here.
We were walking to one of our local bars in La Zenia recently, which involved using the underpass beneath the N332. On emerging we were suddenly confronted with alien markings on the road. It was the asphalt version of crop circles, because there marked out in new pristine paintwork, was a cycle lane slap bang in the centre of the road. It indicated that cars could pass cyclists on both left and right hand sides.
This has been repeated in other parts of the Costa; obviously by way of homage to the God of health and safety – although it still has to be explained to me why this should help the cycling fraternity sleep better at night.
Further comment would be superfluous.

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