EC president tells Britain it’s a ‘hard Brexit or no Brexit’

PRESIDENT of the European Council Donald Tusk has weighed in to the Brexit debate by stating that the concept of a ‘soft Brexit’ by which the UK would remain in the single market is a fantasy.

Addressing policymakers in Brussels the former Polish prime minister jabbed “proponents of the cake philosophy” in a thinly veiled attack on Boris Johnson, who suggested that Britain could have the best of both worlds despite renouncing its EU membership.

“That was pure illusion, that one can have the EU cake and eat it too. To all who believe in it, I propose a simple experiment. Buy a cake, eat it, and see if it is still there on the plate,” said Tusk, whose country recently claimed to have taught the French to use the fork. 

“The only real alternative to a hard Brexit is no Brexit, even if today hardly anyone believes in such a possibility.”

“There will be no cakes on the table, for anyone. There will be only salt and vinegar,” he continued, indulging his talent for culinary metaphor.