The gentlemanly gardener

NEATLY TRIMMED: Juan's been hard at work

JUAN the gardener is outside and I have retreated to my bedroom. Nick and I share, but I always refer to it as “my bedroom”.

He tells me off for this but after 11 years it continues to make no difference. The reason for my retreat? Juan saw me naked on Easter Monday and I’m still avoiding him. 

Who knew in a Catholic country that Easter Monday is not a holiday? Well actually after the incident, I looked it up, it’s a holiday in parts of Spain… not here though.

I wasn’t up to anything naughty, I just woke up hot and decided to hang around the house in my birthday suit for a bit. The boys do it so why shouldn’t I? And if they did moan about it – bonus – they annoy me all the time, so just a little payback.

The boys however ignored me. I don’t think they even noticed and were in the other room anyway. I was perched demurely (of course) on the sofa, messing with my stuff on the coffee table and I saw, out of the corner of my eye, some movements. 

I turned to see Juan scuttling out of the back garden with his head held firmly downwards. Unusual. I looked down to double check I was naked and I blooming was. 

I wouldn’t have been on a working day!

When moaning about this to Nick, he declared “everyone has seen you naked.” 

I decided not to ask exactly who “everyone” was. Although, a few years back there was a window cleaner who appeared unexpectedly outside my bedroom window and there was this other time my mother-in-law’s partner…

I clearly have form.

• Sarah, the writer of this blog on family life, moved to the Costa del Sol with her husband and two small boys 18 months ago. She explains her relocation on “a need for sun and to exercise my sons  which is easier with less rain,” adding “they are pretty normal, a shock as I am from a family of girls!”

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