All you mollycoddled snowflakes out there … grow up!

HEARD about the thousands of students starting college this autumn being given Paddington Bear-style wristbands printed with their address and emergency contact details to help them get home if they’re too drunk?

And nervous students helped to ask questions in lectures courtesy of an app that’ll let them send anonymous text messages with queries to a screen at the front of the lecture hall? Good grief!

This follows news that Fanny Hill, first-ever erotic novel written in English, has been dropped from a university curriculum for fear of offending modern-day students.

Whatever next?

A warning on the first page of a crime thriller that someone, possibly even another person, will be dead by the last page? Help!

My latest crime thriller, ‘The Girl in the Red Dress’ (all profits to Costa del Sol Cudeca cancer charity) has just been published in paperback as well – perhaps I’d better switch to fantasy and fairy tales!

But if English literature’s too upsetting to study, how about geology?

Nope, earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanoes kill people.

Medicine?

Nope, people have dreadful diseases and die. Biology? Ditto.

Physics? Potential to create nuclear weapons. Perhaps better not go to college at all, if human beings and the world we live in upset you snowflakes.

Heaven help us when you actually head out into the real world, you’re going to be unemployable!

Like the transgender issue for schoolchldren, this is beyond, err, childish. It’s pandering to imagined upset and offence by proxy.

If you’re likely to be upset by things at the theatre, book topics, the world in general, just stay at home in your bedroom with your blanket and teddy and leave real life to those of us who have grown up.

Snowflakes fully equipped for life in the 21st century? Next you’ll be telling me Father Christmas doesn’t exist!

Welcome to the Brave New World – full of human beings permanently stuck in the ‘terrible twos.‘

Nora Johnson’s psychological crime thrillers ‘The Girl in the Red Dress,’ ‘No Way Back,’ ‘Landscape of Lies,’ ‘Retribution,’ ‘Soul Stealer,’ ‘The De Clerambault Code’ (www.norajohnson.net) available from Amazon in paperback/eBook (€0.99;£0.99) and iBookstore.