Don't listen to sat nav

SAT NAV: Views of a Grumpy Old Man. Photo: Shutterstock

THE horror journey home from Seville: We decided to stop at a shopping mall.
My car’s sat nav couldn’t find it so I then used Google maps on my ‘phone. All was fine and we even saw a motorway sign that we were going in the right direction.
Then the nightmare started. I took a wrong turning and the ‘phone recalculated the route taking us down a road that was running parallel to the motorway.
We then came to a no entry sign and I had to turn left which was a narrower road but I’m thinking Google maps must know what it was doing.
Oh boy was I wrong! The road all of a sudden became a very narrow mud track so I couldn’t turn round. I thought it was only going to run for a few yards and then the App was telling me to take the next left which I thought would take me back on to a ‘proper road’ but it didn’t.
All I could see was fields! How could my Google maps take me here? It was still giving directions so ‘it’’ wasn’t lost but I sure was. It had been raining and the track was seriously muddy and the car was getting pulled into tractor tracks.
Yeah, I know you are thinking ‘idiot, why did you go on the track in first place?’
Well I honestly thought Google maps wouldn’t take me into such a place.
When my car sat nav runs out of road it just tells you to find a proper road.
But Google maps now tells me to turn right, then sharp right again which makes me think I’m going back on myself.
Not to make it even scarier, this mud track is even narrower and there is a river on one side with no wall or barrier.
The car was sliding all over the place and Mrs S now insists on getting out of the car and walking.
Her theory was that if the car goes into the river there is no point in us both dying – she can get help. So thoughtful. 
Then at last we see a motorway again and the amazing thing is this mud track does bring you right up to the side of the shopping mall! So here’s the moral of the tale. DO NOT LISTEN TO YOUR SAT NAV IF IT STARTS TO TAKE YOU OFF ROAD! It’s just being a clever dick trying to prove ‘you may be lost but I’m not!’
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Written by

Mike Senker

Grumpy Old Man Mike Senker provokes laughter and some groans with his spot on observations of life in the modern age.