How hard can it be?

sun creams all packed ready to go to the beach

What a bunch of aerosols! It drives me nuts. I shake the container and hear plenty of swishing so I assume there is plenty in there, which there is. But after pressing the button nothing, except a little puff of air, comes out. I shake it again, I tilt the container – nothing. How hard can it be to make a product that actually works? This is not an unusual occurrence in the Senker household.

There’s the sun creams all packed ready to go to the beach.  We get there, find our pitch, move the beds this way and that whilst trying not to remove a layer of skin from my feet whilst walking round the bed. 

The ice box is in position under the shade. I sit down; get the sun cream – a spray bottle of course for a more even application. I shake the bottle as per instructions, point the nozzle at my legs, and pump three times … nothing, zilch, nada. I check that I’ve twisted the thingy on the nozzle into the on position.

Yeah, everything is in the correct place. Now I’m staring at it, talking to it, trying to unscrew the – what I now find out is a top that doesn’t unscrew. I’ve paid about €20 for this stuff. I’m on the beach. I can’t take it back because it came from the UK with my daughter. So here are the choices. Go and buy another which I’m not doing.

Or I force the top off and try and apply it that way. Of course I go for the brute force and ignorant approach as there is no way I’m buying another one. I finally manage to remove the top and as it comes off the bottle semi explodes showering me with more sun cream than would be needed to protect the two rows of sunbeds in front of me. I can tell my family is really concerned for me by the level of screeching laughter I can hear.

Oh well, it can’t get any worse can it? Well not until we get home and Mrs S asks me to help her make a tuna and sweetcorn salad. Good idea – pass me the tuna please.

It’s a ring pull can. I get it in the upright positon and pull, simplicity itself, and there is the ring pull sitting there on my finger instead of the tin. OK, back to the tin opener. Why, oh why does this happen to me? Or maybe to you too?

Written by

Mike Senker

Grumpy Old Man Mike Senker provokes laughter and some groans with his spot on observations of life in the modern age.