PIGS WILL FLY? MAYBE NO LONGER!

DID you catch the recent news that frightened flyers are set to lose their ‘emotional support’ animals? American airliner cabins could soon be free of ducks, pigs and miniature horses under government proposals to crack down on passengers flying with ‘emotional support’ animals.

Passengers have tried to board aircraft with snakes, spiders, gliding possums and squirrels. These incidents have sometimes caused delays when the crew refuse entry to an animal. “The days of Noah’s Ark in the air are hopefully coming to an end,” a member of a flight attendants union reported optimistically.

Hang on! What about my ‘emotional support’ silver-back mountain gorilla? Seriously, though, I recall the experience of an acquaintance who, back in the day, flew in a Twin Otter to Port Moresby in Papua New Guinea. There were goats on board and people smoking. Luckily there was no co-pilot so he was able to persuade the Captain to give him the right hand seat. Aware that sometimes passengers tried to bring bigger livestock on board, he enjoyed the view from the cockpit, aware of the sound of chaos behind.

Frankly, under no circumstances should animals (except guide dogs) be in the same area as passengers on any airline. (This should also apply to cruise ship restaurants where animals – umm, dogs, not pigs! – have been spotted.) If people can’t fly without the support of some kind of animal, then find some alternative means of transport!

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: it’d take more than an ‘emotional support’ animal to calm me down on any Boeing 737Max flight. And should anyone ever sit next to me with an ‘emotional support’ spider, they’ll quickly find out who needs the most emotional support…

Well, common sense makes news! And about time. Is this the first ray of sunshine in a world seemingly going crazy? Let’s hope so, but I’m not holding my breath.

Finally, Crufts is blaming Brexit for fewer ‘foreign mutts’ participating in this year’s annual dog show. Is this Rexit?

Nora Johnson’s psychological crime thrillers ‘Betrayal,’ ‘The Girl in the Woods,’ ‘The Girl in the Red Dress,’ ‘No Way Back,’ ‘Landscape of Lies,’ ‘Retribution,’ ‘Soul Stealer,’ ‘The De Clerambault Code’ (www.nora-johnson.net) available online as ebook (€0.99;£0.99), ibook, paperback and audiobook. All profits to Costa del Sol Cudeca cancer charity.