As the alarm filled our bedroom, my heart sank. Another night of no sleep, it was 6:30 am, I felt exhausted and the day hadn’t even started.
I’d had yet another nightmare about my husband leaving me for another woman, my children were drowning in a pool and I was unable to save them. I would wake up in a pool of sweat, crying hysterically whilst believing it was true. These dreams were a regular occurrence and would create a negative effect on my whole day.
I would start an argument with my husband, accusing him of things that he hadn’t even done whilst becoming an over-protective mother to my boys. I had created a wedge between my family and me but why was I doing it? I was a slave to my mind! We all have a little voice in our head, the inner critic, the voice of destructive thoughts towards ourselves, our internal enemy that can affect our self-esteem and confidence and my internal critic was VERY LOUD! She convinced me that I was not worthy of success, love, or happiness and convinced me I would always fail. I became depressed and knew I needed to change!
In 2018, I decided to study how the mind worked using cognitive behavioural therapy techniques. I learned why we all have the inner critic, where it comes from, and how to quieten the noise. How thoughts become feelings, feelings become behaviours and, behaviours increase further negative thoughts. Our brain’s primary purpose is to protect us, therefore, when we are faced with a situation where there is any doubt, our brain automatically tells us “don’t do that, you will fail” or, “If you do this, you will get hurt”. When this happens, we tend to listen, feel the fear, and convince ourselves that we are not good enough.
How Do We Silence Our Inner Critic? A technique that I teach my clients is called “The ABC Model”. The ABC model not only helps to reinforce the casual relationship between beliefs and consequences but also shows us that consequences often strengthen and reinforce our beliefs, further maintaining our emotional discomfort.
What Is The ABC Model?
A = Activating Event (A stressful event that leads to negative emotions)
B = Beliefs (Negative thoughts, assumptions, judgments, worries, and demands on yourself or others)
C = Consequences (What is the emotional, behavioural, and physical consequence of thinking this way?)
If you would like to learn HOW to use this method in detail, my mindset course,
“FROM A NEGATIVE ATTITUDE TO A LIFE OF GRATITUDE” will be released on 30th August. If you are ready to change your mindset and learn how to quieten the voice in your head, please contact me by email:
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