CHEERS! Post-lockdown Britain finally opens up.

Empty wine bottles after lockdown?

Breadmaking, snitching or lunging with Joe Wicks? With lockdown restrictions eased, how was lockdown for you? 

Did you clap the health workers, report the neighbours, then drown your sorrows in another bottle of wine? Some people seem to have developed a serious online parcels habit; others have become terrible bread and wine bores. What about you? How many empty wine bottles are stacked by your back door?

As for zooming, what about the Spaniard caught short during a live video meeting? Trying to multitask, he hauled his computer into the bathroom to listen in on an online council meeting as he showered. As his colleagues considered plans to clean up a local river, an image of him showering appeared on the screen, partly blurred by frosted glass. The sound of running water drowned out the warning phone calls that the camera was still rolling. The mayor swiftly took control, ending the meeting. Oops!

But he’s not alone. Last month Irish MEP Luke “Ming” Flanagan beamed out images of himself trouserless on the European parliament’s official live broadcast after positioning his iPad in portrait, not landscape mode after hastily throwing on a shirt after a run.

As for me, apart from helping elderly neighbours, I’m still busy working (remotely) with my good friend, the actor Rayner Bourton, on converting my latest novel “No Safe Place” into an audiobook (iBook and paperback coming soon).

With many movies and TV credits to his name, Rayner created the role of ‘Rocky’ in the original London production of “The Rocky Horror Show” and contacted me to say he liked my column – and especially my crime thrillers so could he narrate them? Meanwhile, listen yourself to the free audio samples on Audible!

But it’s not all good news for UK brides post-lockdown – according to the new rules (no fathers walking the bride down the aisle, washing hands before and after exchanging rings, no singing, no joy). Hardly a memorable way to celebrate such a major occasion, eh?

Nora Johnson’s psychological crime thrillers ‘No Safe Place’, ‘Betrayal’, ‘The Girl in the Woods’, ‘The Girl in the Red Dress’, ‘No Way Back’, ‘Landscape of Lies’, ‘Retribution’, ‘Soul Stealer’, ‘The De Clerambault Code’ ( available online as eBook (€0.99;£0.99), iBook, paperback & audiobook.All profits to Costa del Sol Cudeca cancer charity        

Costa Almeria singers “back in the groove” for the first time since lockdown

Written by

Nora Johnson

Novelist Nora Johnson offers insights on everything from current affairs to life in Spain, with humour and a keen eye for detail.