Don’t you think we would, if we could

“Take care of yourself so you can get healthy.”

I know this is said with love, but it can be damn frustrating. Don’t you think if we could somehow stop having symptoms, we would? Society want us to exercise more, eat a balanced diet and stay positive to help stop those depressive and manic symptoms.

However, telling us to sleep eight hours when we are manic or think positively when we are depressed feels impossible. We are doing the best we can in a complicated and exhausting situation.

Ever thought about helping us celebrate what we have achieved?

Sleeping five hours instead of three, getting through one day without crying, healthy eating one meal instead of none or seeing life is worth living after weeks of not wanting to be here.

They might not be what society deems healthy, but it’s our reality.

We spend our time thinking if we trick ourselves into believing that if we force ourselves beyond what we are physically and emotionally capable of, we can be ‘normal’. This often ends with out-of-control symptoms and can cause more damage, whether it’s exhaustion caused by going out with friends when depressed, or sleeping 3 hour naps just to escape the million thoughts running through our minds.

To appear healthy, we stubbornly push through the symptoms, is a car crash waiting to happen. We desperately want to work more than 30 hours a week and not have to take 7 pills a day to curb the symptoms, wake up feeling happy everyday, but that’s how it is.  We spend most of our time imagining magically wake up and being considered healthy.

What if healthy meant being patient and gentle with ourselves? Crying without feeling weak or experiencing unprovoked irritability without guilt? Accepting we are not always going to be well enough to leave the house when we are anxious or do laundry when we are exhausted, but loving ourselves anyway? Maybe if healthy could be more about patience, acceptance, compassion.

Let me know if you can relate, email me your story on the email below or follow me on Facebook @mswillowbipolar.

Love Ms Bipolar X