The woman beyond

In a lifetime searching for the secrets to success, researching the world’s most EXTRA-Ordinary people, great leaders, transformational thinkers, ancient wisdom, modern science and positive psychology – believe me, I’ve researched it all! Driven by my personal demons to overcome the adversity of a bullied childhood and a lack of confidence. And a determination to understand and combine my anguish and wisdom into a model for success. I aim to help women achieve their biggest most audacious goals in life and business.

I know what got – and still gets – in the way of becoming my best self.

“Nobody’s perfect, I certainly won’t be the first, but why is it as women, particularly, we feel we need to be?”

I rarely meet a woman who doesn’t suffer some level of self-doubt, thinking she has to be successful in every aspect of her life. I believe it’s this thinking that sets us up for failure – striving for perfection, trying to please everyone except ourselves. “Not good enoughness” – that’s our enemy.

I’m sooooo excited to share this amazing platform and welcome you to the inaugural #TheWomanBeyond column, my aim to share simple tips and hacks to help you change your thinking – to change your life.

This week is about, self-actualisation: Abraham Maslow’s (the positive psychology grandfather) powerful wisdom. He studied the greatest people of his generation, like Eleanor Roosevelt and Albert Einstein and tells us about the importance of realising our potential. In fact, he said: “What one CAN be, one MUST be.”

Our need to self-actualise is as important as our need to breathe. It’s like soul oxygen. As humans, we have an innate drive to reach the next goal, to want more, to achieve our dreams.

As women we often leave these on the back burner, putting others, family and loved ones, before ourselves. In the gap between what we’re capable of being and what we’re actually being is where stress lives, I’ve heard so many women say “there’s more to life than this.”

So, STOP, for a moment, answer this: What must YOU be? Really, think about that… What MUST you be?

It’s easy to allow all the reasons why we can’t BE what we’d love to be, block us. The gap becomes a chasm! I’ve heard myself and so many other women say, “I don’t have a choice.” In any moment, we ALWAYS have choice. We can step forward into growth or we can step back into safety. It’s like plus one or minus one.

How we feel at the end of the day is largely determined by these tiny CHOICES, how often do we let minus moments trickle into our lives? If you’re like me, the answer is too many! Think about the alternative, how about sprinkling our days, with loads of +1s? I PROMISE you’re going to feel more alive and radiant.

Aggregate and compound these tiny choices and the power is infinite.

What do YOU want? Powerfully, the man himself (Maslow) said: “If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you’ll be unhappy for the rest of your life.”

Stay focussed, keep positive and choose to +1 in every moment.

Love, Hugs, High Fives and Fist Bumps
Toni x

Please do get in touch if you have any questions. Follow me, chat and share your thoughts and network with other fabulous women in my Visionary Women Facebook Group.

Twitter: @tonieastwood
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