Suzanne Manners: Phew what a scorcher!

Global warming, diminishing ice floes or selective memory loss? Now don’t get me wrong I am not a global warming denier or a climate change conspiracy theorist (although the teenage climate warriors of late are surely the most excruciating irritants since the Bubonic Plague) but it does seem to me that every year without fail we are sweltering under the misconception that the heat is somewhat peculiar or dystopian.

The Earth is about to explode and the seas are rising/ evaporating/ freezing (delete as appropriate). I can remember the heatwave of ‘76 when Londoners even removed their cardigans and sat red-faced on the brown grass at Vicky park. In history the Thames has both boiled and frozen. The weather, as we brits know, has forever been a flighty mistress whose capriciousness is only matched by her inability to show up on time.

It is true that humans have systematically ruined our beautiful planet. What other species can spot a forest and gleefully imagine a block of flats or a gas plant in its stead. We also desperately need to wind in our excessive consumption and our reliance on plastic (Unfortunately I have an Amazon shopping addiction and prefer my fruit and veg wrapped in layers of shiny cling film so I am not one to talk). I have several so-called vegan ,eco-warrior friends who think nothing of taking 4 or 5 flights a year.

The sheer hypocrisy of these people expounding save the earth’s platitudes and asking poor families in far-flung places to curb their excesses and get rid of the family cow whilst themselves hacking up the ozone with contrails as they travel in one of the most climate-damaging vehicles ever created. These same people drive to the recycling plant, pop to the prohibitively expensive local whole food shop in their gas guzzlers and smugly ask Alexa to book a ticket to that lovely Elephant retreat in Thailand.

So while it is true that vegetarianism is good for health and the planet and we definitely need to stop throwing plastic bags, wet wipes and coke cans in the ocean, a good hypocrisy filter would not go amiss. Perhaps the receipt of their last journey could be displayed holographically above their heads whenever they mention the climate or their purchase of hummus from the Alpaca Farm.

Moderation in all things, as my grandmother would say, except Cava and chocolate.

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