I WON THE LOTTERY !

It was a dream. The nightmare was waking up to find it hadn´t happened. Once again I didn´t come close. But people do win the lottery, and last July somebody won the jackpot of €230 million. Since then, there have been three winners of €150 million or more. So, how do they spend these unimaginable sums of money?

Winning €150 million would open up a few possibilities. The first could be to identify 400 cases where a child needs urgent, unaffordable and perhaps life-saving medical treatment. Including transport costs each could cost about €50´000. The sum of €20 million would cover this and we are still left with €130 million.

It would be nice to identify 100 deserving homeless people. €200´000 each would buy all of them a decent house or flat and adequate basic furniture for it. There goes another €20 million.

While it would be impossible to rescue enough factory-farmed livestock to make a difference, donations could be made to upfront organisations and individuals directly involved in combating the poaching of rhinos and elephants and the mistreating beasts of burden in various parts of the world. €10 million could make a small but worthwhile difference.

Whoops! We´re down to €100 million. Well, it´s not only children that require surgery or hospital treatment. Perhaps 400 serious cases of adults requiring urgent attention could be located. An additional €20 million could make such a difference. And what about those who do have homes but are finding it impossible to heat them properly and to eat enough? €30 million could make things easier for 1´000 families or lonely individuals.

We only have €50 million left now, so let´s not forget our friends and family – and ourselves!

€6 million would buy six more than reasonable properties, including appropriate furniture and fittings. We can´t forget Uncle Ben and the friend who helped our daughter so much. Another €2 million for various homes and holidays of a lifetime, for several BMWs, sound systems, hobby equipment and first class medical cover and other insurance for those closest to us. And the purchase of eight small flats? This could produce an annual rental income of €10´000 each but could require yet a further €2 million.

So, for a further €10 million, our friends and family seem to be fairly secure. And we still have €40 million to allocate. This is roughly the net worth of Harry Kane.

There must be so many ideas I have overlooked. Ukraine, Somalia, nurses and carers, the vulnerable victims of fraud and house-bulldozing. I really intend to win one day, so, before the happy announcement, suggestions on a postcard, please. Or, on reflection, let me win it first.

There is one small problem, however. The chance of winning is about 1 in 140 million – about as likely as “Lord” Alan Sugar being crowned Miss Mexico.

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