The Internet Hilariously Takes Down Sunak’s New Approach To Net Zero

Since the Tories got a surprise win in the Uxbridge by-election on the issue of emission charges, Rishi Sunak and his cabinet have been scrambling to find more potentially vote-winning overturns of green policy. 

The latest big idea from a struggling government has been dubbed as a ‘new approach to Net Zero’ and features five (apparently all government policy must now come in fives) “heavy-handed measures” they are committing to scrap. The slightly bewildering thing about the plan is that precisely none of the five measures were ever policy, nor indeed under discussion to become future policy.

Sunak’s love of Tweeting his latest initiatives led to the rather embarrassing situation where the Prime Minister’s post got a note from X/Twitter appended saying that “None of those listed policies are included in the government’s own Net-Zero Strategy.”

We will never impose unnecessary and heavy-handed measures on you, the British people.

We will still meet our international commitments and hit Net Zero by 2050. pic.twitter.com/XjXQzGVaCN

— Rishi Sunak (@RishiSunak) September 20, 2023

So bizarre was this ‘pretend to scrap things that never existed in the first place’ strategy that the Internet couldn’t help but react; brutally and with much amusement for anyone following. This sort of treatment probably isn’t included in most politicians’ media training, but how to deal with an Internet pile-on of epic proportion may be something that Downing Street PR teams want to consider for future training sessions.

We bring you a capsule of Internet viciousness at its most hilarious best.

On The Promise To Scrap Sorting Recycling Into Seven Separate Bins

"Bins to the southwest sir. Seven of them." pic.twitter.com/bXiICujksh

— Colin the Dachshund (@DachshundColin) September 20, 2023

YOU BOY, WHICH OF THE SEVEN BINS IS IT THIS WEEK pic.twitter.com/O3K011dT1d

— SHANE REACTION (@imshanereaction) September 20, 2023

“The Council has delivered a seventh bin, Sir” pic.twitter.com/7VlqRcWsBR

— Mark Gillies (@5goalthriller) September 20, 2023

"Seven bins, love, yes, SEVEN bins. See, you need seven bins because you need the recycling and the composting and the small electricals and the food waste and the cardboard and the general waste and garden waste. Seven bins, you see?" pic.twitter.com/L5ocWDb3TX

— Kate Bevan (@katebevan) September 20, 2023

On The Promise To Stop 15-Minute Cities

15 minute cities means that every 15 minutes in a city you have to say pronouns and if you don't then a knife crime happens on you and the woke police won't even come and do anything about it because they're only allowed to go 20 miles an hour. It's true, I saw it on Facebook.

— Oscaaargh 🏳️‍⚧️ (@SkeletonOscar) October 1, 2023

I remember the good old days before the war on motorists, when you could drive through classrooms and kids would have to jump out of the window and everyone had a laugh about it. Happy times.

— Mark Steel (@mrmarksteel) September 30, 2023

Another term for a “15-minute city” is a village: a small collection of housing with essential/desirable amenities (pub, shop, GP) nearby.

Government policy seems to be that villages are woke now.

— James Ball (@jamesrbuk) September 30, 2023

I’m worried. I have a GP surgery and shops within 15 minutes of my house. Will I have to move now?

— @seanjones@mastodon.social (@SeanJonesKC) September 30, 2023

On The Five-Point Pledge To Stop Policy That Was Never Policy

Other proposals scrapped by Sunak:

– Forcing homeowners to have 16 different bins for different coloured cardboard.

– Forcing everyone to buy a Penny Farthing.

– tax on farts.

– No cups of tea during Corrie.

– Children to be used as loft insulation in Victorian homes.

— ʟᴀʀʀʏ & ᴘᴀᴜʟ (@larryandpaul) September 20, 2023

"The plan to make you kill your cat with your bare hands and then eat it raw? Scrapped." pic.twitter.com/DxxblCzFRa

— Robert Hutton (@RobDotHutton) September 20, 2023

I'M STOPPING STUFF I JUST MADE UP:

X Tax on Spoons
X Pixie Burglaries
X Purple Lightning
X Compulsory Bed Sharing
X Parking Spaces For Otters

A NEW APPROACH TO REACH POLL ZERO.

— Stephen McGann (@StephenMcGann) September 20, 2023

Just got back into the Uk after a two week Canadian tour, and while the compulsory car share from Heathrow was a surprise, it was lovely to hear how everyone else is handling the new meat tax and storing their 7 bins.

— Dara Ó Briain (@daraobriain) September 20, 2023

Sunak is due to speak at the Conservative Party Conference in Manchester tomorrow where the rumour is that he will scrap the Manchester leg of the HS2 line, leaving it as an odd bit of rail to join up Oak Common on the outskirts of London, with Birmingham. No doubt, if that prediction pans out, the Internet will again be taking to memes to convey its thoughts. It’s always worth finishing off a litany of humiliation with just an extra spoon of humiliation in the form of an oldie, but a goodie.

Say what you like about Rishi, he does a cracking impression of a billionaire who has never been in a shop before. pic.twitter.com/Yd6Hu07llP

— HENRY MORRIS (@secrettory12) March 23, 2022