Mike Senker – Time to call it a day

As I get older I wonder why I can recall things like the Littlewoods catalogue, the bloke that came round to collect your football coupons, the milkman, the corona lemonade man, Smiths crisps with the salt in a little blue twisty thing, a mangle, chocolate wagon wheels that were so big you couldn’t hold them in one hand and if you lived in the East End of London, and maybe other poorer parts of the country, the Tally man, who was actually just a debt collector, that used to come for the payments for stuff you had bought on tick (credit), but I can’t remember why I’ve wandered into the kitchen or where I put my sunglasses or car keys, or why I thought this would be a good way to start this week’s grumps!

OK on to a more serious thing – Eurovision Song Contest. It’s time to call it a day. I was never a great lover of it, too long, too many crap songs and the voting was always a bit suspicious with a lot of them being political neighbouring countries voting for each other. But the last couple have been chaos. The politics now are beyond belief and the songs are terrible. The costumes they wear and the make-up are ridiculous.  One country refused to mention another country by name, another blanked out the name and the little gob shites that perform are all of a sudden political experts. If they do continue with this tired worn out show performers should be told, go on stage, sing your song and f*** off to the green room and wait to see what happens.

Anyone else like liquorice? For gawd’s sake don’t read what happens if you eat too much of it. Apart from the thing we all know it does, there are some pretty horrific side effects. I bet you didn’t know it can give you high blood pressure, fluid retention, hepatitis, headache, swelling (doesn’t say where), dental plaque, muscle cramps and, of course, everybody’s favourite – erectile dysfunction!!! Plus the sweetener they use is 30-50 times sweeter than sugar.

Lastly, stop messing about with popular TV shows.  Mock the Week – gone. A Question of Sport – cancelled because the BBC cocked it up, plus many more and I fear Dr Who will not be far behind with the new black gay Dr. I have no problem with being black or gay of course, it’s just that Dr Who isn’t either and that just a fact.

Email: mikesenker@gmail.com

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Written by

Mike Senker

Grumpy Old Man Mike Senker provokes laughter and some groans with his spot on observations of life in the modern age.