Marriage is no giveaway in Sweden

In English-speaking countries it is normal for the bride’s father to walk her to the altar where her future husband awaits her.

Although this is not a tradition in Lutheran Sweden, where it is normal for the bride and groom to walk down the aisle together, more women are asking to be “given away” by their father.

Sociologists put the trend down to the influence of Hollywood films, global television and even the social media, together with the fact that King Carl Gustaf walked his daughter Crown Princess Victoria part of the way to the altar when she married in 2010.

It’s up to Church of Sweden pastors to decide whether a bride’s father can give her away, and some have no problem with the tendency.

Others are less enthusiastic.

Sara Waldenfors, a pastor from Nylose, Gothenburg, who belongs to the Social Democrat (SAP) opposition party, and  Jesper Eneroth, an MP for the SAP, want a ban on the popular practice.

There was no escaping the patriarchal symbolism of a father giving away his daughter, Waldenfors said.

“The relatively new trend that the father walks the bride down the aisle and passes her over to her new husband is not in our church tradition,” she told the Observer. “Even though the scene feels nice for future couples, we can’t disregard what it symbolises: a father handing over a minor virgin to her new guardian.”

The pastor cited the earlier struggle in making it possible for a woman to be ordained as a priest and a further struggle in permitting same-sex marriages in the Church of Sweden.

“Shall we then amend a tradition in a church that isn’t ours and does not represent something that we can abide by?” Waldenfors asked.

Not all Lutheran pastors agree with her.

Henrik Loov from Jonkoping in southern Sweden said that when a father walked his daughter down the aisle the family was being included in the ceremony.  Instead of a “legal and patriarchal handover,” the bride was emphasising the importance of a relative in her life.

Only 10 per cent of the couples he married were given away by a parent, Loov said, adding that the matter was prompting debate because it focused on two essential Swedish values of gender equality and individual freedom of choice.

He also commented that he doubted that a parliamentary motion to ban the custom would be successful as few other parties would support SAP initiative.