Crisis, what a Crisis

Hair. Let’s  consider the crowning glory of a Lady. In so many districts of Europe as the lock down has taken effect panic is stalking the homes of men and women who may not have a hair cut or touch up of the roots for many weeks, if not months to come.

Reports of Frenchmen discovering that their wives are not the blond they assumed seem cruel. Though they are soon to discover that many of their wives have greyed over the years is more realistic.

In my own case challenged as I am up top it’s more a case of looking more and more untidy as the weeks go by. Advise concerning the trimming of fringes is to be found in all good newspapers.

The best advise is to proceed slowly, one small snip at a time. Do not cut out a whole lock of hair all at once. Ladies, this could be the time to allow your hair to grow out while you prepare for a new style on the other side of the crisis.

Gentlemen ought to gingerly trim back the most worrying lock of hair, though generally leave well alone unless you really do want to look like you have trimmed your hair with a knife and fork.

Some hairdressers have taken to the Internet, offering one-to-one advise, counselling and solace to customers through social media channels.

Some have gone as far a sharing the details of the secret proportions of a particular dye job as well as hints and tips concerning how and when to apply.

Hundreds of thousands of hairdressers right across the continent of Europe have had to shut and many face financial ruin.

Perhaps the more enterprising will set up on-line subscription services to ensure that ladies do not have to face the prospect of  grey roots surprising their husbands. Or indeed of the old fool discovering one is not a blonde but rather a brunette.

The youth of London have caught the zeitgeist and are gently mocking their elders concerns by recourse to “root popping.”

To explain; take a youngish female, or for that matter male, with a mane of long luxurious hair and dye that mane from the root for approximately two inches [5 centimetres or less if the hair is short or cropped] along the flowing locks of hair.

However dye those tresses not grey in homage to us oldies but rather pink or blue or purple. You do I hope get the picture? Soon all over Europe as is the case in London not only will “Off Licences” (a shop that mainly sells alcoholic beverages to be consumed off the premises rather than within a Bar or Pub which remain closed) be deemed essential retailers but also that special kiosk in chemists and hairdressing salons that sell hair dye preparations.

Because, as every one knows “you are worth it”. Ladies, as well as the occasional gentleman, will be lobbying the authorities over the coming days as the Grey Hair Panic takes hold.

Panic buying. On-line sales of yoga mats are booming here in London as I learn that many Londoners seek to use the crisis lock down to stay home, chill out, meditate and even get fit.

I too have succumbed to a touch of panic buying, my speed skipping rope has been delivered.

Panic buying of garden sheds has been noticed too. No doubt to store the mountains of toilet rolls accumulated in the past weeks.

Though some have suggested that the garden shed is where to put the husband as wives really do not want to have them underfoot while they touch up their greying roots.

Take care.

Nick Horne, London, England

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Nick Horne