Some words of wisdom

Choose your friends wisely; your health depends on it.

ONE of the topics at this year’s United Nationalities of Marbella summit on November 18 is our mental health.  The people around us can make all the difference to how we feel and if they don’t make us feel good, we need to let them go; as actor Anthony Hopkins explains:

“Let go of people who are not ready to love you. This is the hardest thing you will have to do in your life and it will also be the most important thing. Stop having difficult conversations with people who don’t want to change. Stop showing up to people who have no interest in your presence. I know your instinct is to do whatever you can to gain the appreciation of those around you, but it is an impulse that robs your time, energy, mental and physical health.

When you start fighting for a life with joy, interest, and commitment, not everyone will be ready to follow you to that place.  That does not mean that you have to change who you are, it means that you must let go of people who are not ready to accompany you. If you are excluded, insulted, forgotten or ignored by the people to whom you give your time, you are not doing yourself a favour by continuing to offer your energy and your life to them. The truth is that you are not for everyone and not everyone is for you.

This is what makes it so special when you meet people with whom you have reciprocated friendship or love. You will know how precious it is because you have experienced what it is not. There are billions of people on this planet and many of them you will find at your level of interest and commitment.

Maybe if you stop showing up, they won’t look for you. Maybe if you stop trying, the relationship will end. Maybe if you stop texting, your phone will stay dark for weeks. That does not mean that you ruined the relationship, it means that the only thing that sustained it was the energy that only you gave to maintain it. That is not love, it is attachment. It is giving a chance to those who do not deserve it! You deserve so much more.

The most valuable thing you have in your life is your time and energy, as both are limited. The people and things that you give your time and energy to will define your existence. When you realise this you begin to understand why you are so anxious when you spend time with people, activities or spaces that do not suit you and should not be near you.

You will begin to realise that the most important thing you can do for yourself, and for everyone around you, is to protect your energy more fiercely than anything else. Make your life a safe haven, where only people ‘compatible’ with you are allowed. You are not responsible for saving anyone. You are not responsible for convincing them to improve. It is not your job to exist for people and give them your life! You deserve real friendships, true commitments, and complete love with healthy, prosperous people.

The decision to distance yourself with harmful people will give you the love, esteem, happiness and protection that you deserve.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself. •

Nicole King’s opinions are her own and are not necessarily representative of those of the publishers, advertisers or sponsors.

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Nicole King

One of Marbella's most glamorous residents, Nicole King offers a taste of the best of what's going on in the Costa del Sol.


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