Rise of the ‘soft girl’ making waves across Sweden

Sweden is undergoing a change that may just upset the peace of mind of thousands of feminists across the globe with its new model for women: ‘soft girls’.

The latest trend to catch on in Sweden. Not only does the term suggest the adoption of – let’s say – a more passive role, but is defined as a celebration of women quitting work and living off their husbands or boyfriends.

Interestingly, Sweden’s global reputation for championing gender equality continues to glow. So, this makes things even harder to understand when we consider women like Vilma Larsson aged 25, who embraces a social media trend encouraging her to leave her job and lose her independence, as she falls into total dependency on her male partner. Vilma, who previously worked in grocery stores, a care home and a factory is now lavishing life as a stay-at-home girlfriend and claims she has never been happier than now. In a statement, she said: “My life is softer. I am not struggling. I am not very stressed.”

‘Soft girl’ Vilma’s days are cooking, taking coffee and going to the gym

And that’s no surprise given her boyfriend works remotely in finance and she splits her days between the gym, going out for coffee, cooking and travelling… with his money! She said: “Every month he gives me a salary from his money that he made. But if I need more, I’ll ask him. Or if I need less, I don’t – I just save the rest.”

Living this relaxed lifestyle, Vilma has gained substantial fame across social media via Instagram, YouTube and TikTok, with 11,000 followers tuning in to see the latest pics and clips of her lifestyle. According to Vilma, she uses the hashtags “hemmaflickvän” and “hemmafru” (Swedish for stay-at-home girlfriend and housewife) and simply defines herself as a “soft girl” which diverts from today’s emphasis on women being career-driven and instead focuses on the more feminine, laid-back and home-making female.

The trend gained popularity and media attention last year when a survey revealed that many 15-24 year olds were embracing the trend. This August, nothing seemed to have changed as 14 per cent of seven to 14-year-olds aspired to be soft girls in the future. One researcher described how the trend originated: “It’s about leaning away from this ‘girl boss’ ideal that we’ve seen for a lot of years, where there are very, very high demands for success in every aspect of life.”

‘Soft girl’: “very dangerous” and “a step backwards” for gender equality

Discussion around the topic has gained ground – and quickly. Gudrun Schyman – the co-founder and former leader of Sweden’s feminist party, Feministiskt initiativ – has not taken too kindly to the movement and described it as being “very dangerous”, and “a step backwards” for gender equality. Ms Schyman blames the country’s right-wing coalition government and its collaborations elsewhere for injecting this increasingly widespread mentality and also decries the lack of awareness of how much women have had to fight for equal rights.

On the other side of the coin, the Sweden Democrats party backs the trend. Denice Westerberg, national spokesperson for the party’s youth wing said: “I think that people should get to decide over their own life.” She added: “And if you have that economic possibility to do that [live off a partner] then good for you. We still live in a country with all the opportunities to have a career. We still have all the rights, but we have the right to choose to live more traditionally.”

Read more about Sweden