Nora Johnson: The heat is on – avoiding havoc on the hottest days

Nora Johnson: The heat is on - avoiding havoc on the hottest days. Image - Roman Samborskyi/shutterstock

It’s summer! And when I did a straw poll among girl friends (only the finest of scientific and journalistic methods for this column, folks) about summer etiquette, the thing that really irritates them is men shirtless in supermarkets, showing what they’ve got (or not).

What they do/don’t have is usually a six-pack, multiple tattoos and/or a fat belly. What a sight! But not as startling as those shopping sporting “budgie smugglers” – the butt of jokes everywhere (pun intended)!  

Which reminds me of the story of one poor guy strong-armed into playing the organ in a nearby church – the Episcopalian Church of Scotland. At the start of the service, there was a procession of office-holders all carrying banners who were played into the Church with the minister at their head.

As one of the office-holders parked his banner and took his official seat in front of the organ he glanced over at the newly deputising organ player and shouted: “They tell me you have the biggest organ in the Church.”

Oddly this had such a paralysing effect on the poor guy that, if said anywhere else, would have had him rolling in the, err, aisles…

Nora Johnson’s critically acclaimed psychological crime thrillers ( all available online including eBooks (€0.99;£0.99), Apple Books, audiobooks, paperbacks at Amazon etc. Profits to Cudeca cancer charity.

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