Mike Senker – Rant 35

I’M getting old.

Well actually I am old. I don’t like the ageing process but of course it’s better than the alternative. All sorts of things start happening to the body and in some cases stop happening. On a recent visit to my doctor she told me that I should stop eating chocolate, stop smoking, stop drinking, stop eating red meat, stop having fried food, cut down on my dairy products, walk four miles a day and stop having sex …. I asked if this would make me live longer and she said ‘No but it will definitely feel like it!!’

The other day I was trying to do something on the computer. By the time I’d logged on I’d completely forgotten what it was I was going to do. What’s that all about? I walk in to rooms, look round and walk out. Not a clue why I went in. I stand there like a doughnut looking around for some inspiration but nothing. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been driving somewhere then realised that I’ve gone past the turning because in my head I’m going somewhere else! Please tell me it’s not just me. Today I was looking to hire a car so I went on to Hertz online and all I had to do was put in my username and password and I was all set. Was I heck? Could I remember my password?  I thought I did. I tried it three times then got locked out. I got a message saying I now had to change my password. I spent the next hour trying to do that but it all got too complicated as they wanted my driving licence number and credit card details. Driving licence was fine but I couldn’t remember what credit card I had on their file. I tried three which were wrong and then I got locked out of that screen! I’ll call them tomorrow if I remember. I have so many pin numbers and passwords it’s impossible to remember them all and you are always told don’t write them down, so I hide them on my phone and code them. Then I forget the code!  I have decided to change my password to ‘incorrectpassword’ so if I put it in wrong or forget it at least when that pops up I’ll have half a chance of remembering it. When you get old, I’ve decided, two things happen to you. One is that your memory starts to go and the second ….. err, err, mmm can’t think of it at the moment. I’ll get back to you on that one.