Mike Senker – I need a lie down now

I have been prescribed another pill which, at my age, is to be expected.

I was reading the instructions and it said it had to be taken with 4 fl.oz of water. No problem except I don’t have a clue what 4 fl.oz looks like, which got me thinking about how confusing all that stuff is. For instance, what’s the difference between a fluid ounce and an ordinary ounce? Did you know that an American gallon and a UK gallon have a difference of about 20%?  Uk is bigger, but why? Everything is just so confusing. When buying a car I want to know how many mpg it does. I have an old Jeep and didn’t know, until sometime after I bought it, that the units were US measurement i.e. gallons or I can change it to litres. Have I lost you yet? Then you get litres to 100km. I don’t even know how to compare it. Stick to mpg.

Then you have shoe size. Im a nine. No sir, in USA you’re  a 10. No, I’m a 9 unless I’m Europe then I’m a 43!! Waist size 34.  Oh no 44 here. Men’s trouser size in US – hold on they’re the same in US  – result!  A 42 jacket in UK is 106 – 111 in Europe???????   But then women’s size 12 in UK is an 8 in the US and a 40 in Europe!

Ready for more? Have you sold any gold to free up a bit of cash? Well if you ever decide to here’s a warning for you. Do not weigh it on your kitchen scales and then go to the jewellers and be a clever so and so and tell them how much you think it’s worth. Let them weigh it on their  scales because a kitchen oz is 10% less than a Jewllers oz, or troy oz, as it officially called. Confusing isn’t it and totally unneccessary.

How about diamond weight in carats? The French word carat came from the Italian carato but almost certainly derives from the Arabic qirat which came from the Greek kerátion meaning Carob seed. In Greek and Roman times it was used as a unit of weight. It was probably not used to measure gold at that time They had to find something else for that. So the most precious thing – a diamond – is valued by a seed off a tree because someone realised that all these seeds weighed the same!

I’m going to go have lay down now.

Email mikesenker@gmail.com

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Written by

Mike Senker

Grumpy Old Man Mike Senker provokes laughter and some groans with his spot on observations of life in the modern age.