Too many emotions not enough words

How is it possible to be both too much and not enough at the same time?

I question too much. I read too much. I think too much. I feel too much. I talk too much. I do too much. I am too intense. Too sensitive. Too empathetic. Too obsessive. Too emotional. Too self-absorbed. Too analytical. Too creative. Too idealistic. Too needy. Too dramatic.

But then I think I am not enough,

I will never be a successful business woman. I haven’t done anything “insanely great.” I finished school with nothing. I dropped out of hairdressing college. I have done things I regret. I could have saved my family from so much heartbreak. I need a lot of reassuring. I will never be able to move very far from home, home is safe. My friends do so much more than I do.  I have made mistakes.

But the truth is – everything about me is just MORE. It’s not too much. It’s just more. More ME.

My ‘moreness’ (if that is even a word!) includes massive amounts of self-analysis, self-criticism and self-awareness.

Which then leads me to, yup ,you guessed it . Not ‘enoughness’.

Its so easy to be dragged down by my own thoughts, getting into that comparison game with yourself!

No more ! I am going to compare me to myself, to see how far I have come, and what I have overcome.

I have criticized myself for years and its not worked , so here we go with trying to approve of myself – lets see what happens!

So here is to fighting my bipolar mind and drowning it with positivity, I cant guarantee I will feel like this next week – but lets enjoy it whilst it lasts (there I go again….)

Love Ms Bipolar x

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