Mike Senker – Rucksacks

WHAT is it with rucksacks?

They used to be something you used to go camping with. You and your family or friends would go off into the big wide open spaces with your hiking boots. It carried your tent and supplies or maybe if you went trekking off round the world. Or you were in the army and you were going off to fight a war somewhere. Move forward and now everybody is using them. Well except me because actually they have turned into weapons of mass destruction but that’s another article!  They were meant to be used in fields, long open roads, the wilderness. Where they were not meant to be used was on aircraft with the exception of being a red beret commando or member of the SAS and for some reason there was a need for you to leave the plane whilst it was at about 20,000 feet, then they are a very handy place to keep your parachute.  They definitely should not be used on trains and confined spaces. I was on the train to Madrid and there was a family that got on after I was already comfy in my seat and the whole bloody lot of them had a rucksack on their back! And I tell you they were enormous!! As the dad tried to get one of the kids settled he turned round and nearly took my head off. Do they not realise that they are the human equivalent to an articulated lorry? They need space to manoeuvre! They should all be fitted with the same warning beeps. This idiot was swivelling about nearly taking the heads off of all nearby.  Me, being me, was the only one who gave him the ‘Oi’ treatment. It never fails. It has to be more than a tut when facing possible head injury. Then there is the whole performance of taking the rucksacks off and getting them in the overhead storage which turns into an episode of the Krypton Factor having to move everything round around them to get these huge accessories to fit. As luck would have it there is a happy ending to this story. Dad had to move one of the kids to a seat further down the carriage and so he wanted to move his rucksack as well. In all the confusion he must have given his son the wrong one and as he put it on his back and let go and stood back the kid toppled over with his legs in the air like a flipped over tortoise. Of course I rushed over to see if I could help ….. Well actually I nearly spat out my coffee with laughter and thought serves you right!