Nora Johnson – Big Weddings

AFTER a few years of uncertainty, the wedding season’s back in full swing. Post-lockdown, everyone deserves a party but if, with the cost-of-living crisis, it’s a choice between a big wedding or house deposit, I know what I’d choose. 

Expensive weddings are a rip off. The bride and groom are a salesperson’s dream and the more extras they can flog you the better their bonus. Anybody who considers a big party to be more important than a roof over your head is bad news. A wedding day only lasts 24 hours. A marriage lasts (hopefully) a lifetime. It makes far more sense now to spend potentially limited funds on property as the length of marriage is invariably inversely proportional to the amount spent on the wedding…

Oh, and a few tips. Always get married early in the morning, so if the marriage doesn’t work out you haven’t wasted the whole day! And check the organist’s familiar with the wedding music because one hapless bride who’d asked an aged organist to play the theme tune from Kevin Costner’s ‘Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves’ found herself galloping down the aisle to ‘Robin Hood, Robin Hood, riding through the glen . . .’ Oops!

Nora Johnson’s 12 critically acclaimed psychological suspense crime thrillers (www.nora-johnson.net) all available online including eBooks (€0.99;£0.99), Apple Books, audiobooks, paperbacks at Amazon etc. Profits to Cudeca cancer charity.