By Mike Senker •
Published: 21 Sep 2023 • 11:40
I was a smoker …a serious smoker. Not one of your namby pamby social ones.
You know the ones. They never have a packet of their own because they only smoke when they are out having a drink or at a party or dinner with you basically just always smoking other peoples! No, I was a SMOKER. Forty a day and I often had one lit and another one in the ashtray that I’d forgotten about. I was a good smoker. My smoke never annoyed anybody or so I thought! The smell on my clothes I didn’t notice. But now I don’t smoke at all. Nothing. Nada. I gave it up and it was very simple. I don’t recommend my method as it’s a bit drastic! I had two heart attacks and tried to have a ciggy in between which didn’t work. I didn’t have the strength to drag on it. Anyway after 5 weeks in hospital and a triple bypass I decided not to smoke anymore. No brainer really. But now I’m one of those non-smokers of the worst kind, so do not smoke around me full stop. For years that’s been fine because most countries now have strict no smoking policies. Then all of a sudden people started vaping. For those of you that don’t know what that is, it’s a contraption you stick in your mouth filled with some fluidy oily chemicals, usually from China, which are heated by an element then blown out like a nuclear cloud over the person sitting next to them.Now, as you know, I’m not one to complain but I don’t give a monkeys about your need to substitute your stinking ciggy habit with this now so called healthier option … don’t blow it over me OK? I don’t want something you have taken down your grubby ex-smokers lungs then blown out of your mouth in my face and when I tell you don’t huff and tut OK? It’s not so bad if you have an occasional puff, like once an hour, but if you insist on dragging on it continuously all night long and sit there like the Royal Scotsman trying to pull a hundred carriage I am going to tell you to stop. Don’t you realise it’s anti-social and rude to be sitting next to someone and blowing this crap all over them? I tried many times to give up smoking. I read so many books about giving up smoking I finally gave up reading!
Last week I asked for feedback about my grumps and I was amazed and very pleased with the response. Thank you all so much.If anyone else wants to email their thought it’s email@example.com
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Grumpy Old Man Mike Senker provokes laughter and some groans with his spot on observations of life in the modern age.
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