THE TWO RONNIES: The old jokes are the best.

FAKE news is all around us. We can’t escape it. It’s everywhere.

First up, Trump’s own fake news – all his fake promises. Is there any statement Trump’s made which he’s not blithely gone back on? Which reminds me of the old joke: ‘How can you tell when Donald Trump is lying?’ – ‘His lips move!’

But Trump’s lies aren’t the only problem. It’s the millions who swallow them ‘bigly’ who really matter. During his election campaign he produced a letter that said he would be the ‘healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.’

But the doctor named as its author later said Trump had written the letter himself. When the next analysis of Trump lies is published it’ll doubtless run into volumes. Which reminds me, too, of an old Two Ronnies’ joke that goes like this.

Ronnie Corbett: “Two Ear, Nose and Throat specialists say they’re very worried about what they saw when they looked in the President’s ears.” Ronnie Barker: “They saw each other.”

Second up, another instance of fake news – or, more simply, plain old lies – nearer home. This concerns the former MP, Harvey Proctor. He’s to receive compensation and costs from the Metropolitan Police of nearly £900,000 over their botched VIP sex abuse inquiry costing £2.5m into false allegations of paedophilia and child murder by the fantasist ‘Nick’. 

You’ll recall the officer in charge not only got promoted but a gold-plated pension plus all accompanying perks, such as free truncheons for life.

We’re never going to be fake-news-free, that’s obvious. But wouldn’t it be nice if in 2020 – and, in fact, the whole of the next decade – there could be a bit more truthfulness. On the part of politicians, celebrities, basically, anyone in the public eye. Wishful thinking, I know…

Now, I’m not demanding a return to early closing days and the reintroduction of the Austin Allegro. But sometimes, I still think I’ve been abducted in my sleep and, on awakening, find myself on the planet Vacuousa orbiting the star Gormlessia.

My, how I enjoy getting grumpy! So much choice these days!

Nora Johnson’s psychological crime thrillers ‘Betrayal,’ ‘The Girl in the Woods,’ ‘The Girl in the Red Dress,’ ‘No Way Back,’ ‘Landscape of Lies,’ ‘Retribution,’ ‘Soul Stealer,’ ‘The De Clerambault Code’ (www.nora-johnson.net) available from Amazon in paperback/eBook (€0.99;£0.99) and iBookstore. All profits to Costa del Sol Cudeca cancer charity.  

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Written by

Nora Johnson

Nora is the author of popular psychological suspense and crime thrillers and a freelance journalist.


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