LEGAL OR LUDICROUS? LAWS YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE BREAKING

DID you know Prince Charles couldn’t be charged for setting off a nuclear bomb? Well, according to a recent study, he’s exempt from sanction over a range of laws – and also has special rights over certain ‘crown roads’. Problem is, nobody knows where those roads are!
It’s all down, apparently, to the arcane constitutional position of the Duchy of Cornwall. This 700-year-old landowning estate, which provides the heir to the throne with an income, can’t be made criminally liable for contraventions of certain laws which include the Data Protection Act 1998 and the Nuclear Explosions (Prohibition & Inspections) Act 1998.
Well, this started me thinking about ancient UK laws that have never been repealed (even though statutes may have rendered some obsolete). Among the weirdest are the ones banning you from eating mince pies on Christmas Day. Guilty as charged, m’lud! But if you lock me up, you’d have to imprison at least half the UK population too…
Did you also know it’s illegal to die while in the Houses of Parliament? Which prompts the question: ‘How would they tell?’ if certain excessively low profile MPs broke this particular law. It’s illegal too to enter the Houses of Parliament wearing a suit of armour (and if you then sit down and die, you’ve REALLY blown it.)
Other bizarre laws still in existence include a ban on firing a cannon close to a house, the use of any slide upon ice or snow, or driving cattle through the streets of London. But a pregnant woman is legally entitled to relieve herself anywhere she wants!
Finally, it’s illegal not to tell the tax man anything you don’t want him to know, but it’s perfectly legal not to give him information you don’t mind him knowing (umm, yeah. I think I’ve got that).
Legal or ludicrous? Makes you wonder why all these daft obsolete laws haven’t been repealed. But then, the UK Government’s far too busy dealing with all the endless ‘partygate’ shenanigans.
Nora Johnson’s psychological crime thrillers ‘The Sentinel’, ‘No Safe Place’, ‘Betrayal’, ‘The Girl in the Woods’, ‘The Girl in the Red Dress’, ‘No Way Back’, ‘Landscape of Lies’, ‘Retribution’, ‘Soul Stealer’, ‘The De Clerambault Code’ (www.nora-johnson.net) available online as eBook (€0.99; £0.99), Apple Books, paperback and audiobook. All profits to Costa del Sol Cudeca cancer charity.  
Nora Johnson’s opinions are her own and are not necessarily representative of those of the publishers, advertisers or sponsors.